


Mobius Quadruple Reach Around

by MayorSillyBiscuits



Category: Homestuck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-04-16
Updated: 2011-04-15
Packaged: 2017-10-18 03:36:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/184555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MayorSillyBiscuits/pseuds/MayorSillyBiscuits
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Putting up old fics from the fora.<br/>Sorry for not color coding the peserlogs.<br/>I tend to, not do that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Wake up

Jade arose from her bed and smiled widely, she looked over to see Karkat sleeping on the floor. She didn’t wake him up, it would be far too rude. She hopped out of bed and landed quietly on her toes. She changed her clothes, blushing slightly, she wondered what Karkat would say if he were to wake up at the moment. She was quiet as a mouse though and easily snuck out of the room without even bothering him in the slightest.

As she descended her rather enormous staircase she looked left and right, staring at the abominations of her grandfathers disturbing hobbies. The sun bleached paintings and morbid trophies are more than upsetting to the stomach so early in the day. Jade tried not to notice, but it was simply something that could not be done when it surrounded you, infecting the very air you breathe.

She entered the main room; a smile crept onto her face as she saw Rose and John cuddling together on her couch. She didn’t mind if the two of them slept together, but she didn’t want them getting too lovey dovey. She tip-toed past them and entered her kitchen, by which is to say she pulled out her cookalizer and refrigerator and spun the rotary dial to access some steak and vegetables. A well balanced meal is important at the beginning of the day. Turning the dial to cook she sat patiently for only a matter of seconds before a dinging noise began to alleviate from the cookalizer. She gathered silverware and plates from the pantry and set it down on the floor, she was still in need of a table. She told herself to go shopping for one later, as soon as she got her boat working again.

She nabbed the gong from her Sylladex and drummed on it lightly with her spoon, she sang out softly, “Dinner is ready everyone!” And giggled as John and Rose woke up, wiping the sleepy from their eyes, and blushing slightly. They shouldn’t have slept in such a position, it was truly an awkward way to wake up.

Karkat, all the way up in Jade’s room did not miss a beat. The gong echoed through her home and rang in his ears till he awoke, swearing furiously at the loud and bothersome noise, “WHO THE FUCK DECIDED THAT WAS A GOOD WAY TO WAKE SOMEONE UP I WILL NEVER FUCKING KNOW.” He got up and stepped downstairs, he was already in a fairly bad mood because of his bad dream.

Rose and John sat down to have their breakfast; they thanked Jade promptly for the hospitality and for the meal. Jade had invited them over for a sleepover after Karkat appeared on her doorstep with nary an explanation nor a home.

Her lunchtop hummed a soothing tone, she had recently modified the sound files to not be so in your face and annoying, since Karkat was easily put into a bad mood. She sits down and answers her chum, it was Dave. He was asking her about women, she was hoping it might be a simple ironic inquiry, but instead it turned out to be a serious question. Jade was befuddled, she was not very good with women. Nor had it ever really crossed her mind to try and keep track of the strange flirting behaviors of the varying types of women. In fact, Jade could safely say she was perhaps the least romantically aware person she knew.

Dave ceased pestering and went back to his own business; he mentioned he had a plan of sorts. She did not question it, she turned to face John and Rose. John had finished his steak and barely touched his vegetables, the vice versa could be said of Rose and her meal.

Jade laughed quietly to herself, she found it humorous in a multitude of ways. The two of them glared at Jade and she silenced herself. It was none of her business what their dieting plans were, or their preferences on food. After all, everyone has their own taste buds.

Karkat entered the room finally, his stomach growled as loud as did the Imps Jade and her friends had fought during the Sburb session. Karkat stared at Jade, a smile crept onto his face. He hid his good mood with more obnoxious swearing, “WHAT THE FUCK? STEAK? WHO THE HELL LET MINE GET COLD?!”

Jade giggled and shouted back to him, “I didn’t let yours get cold, its right here!”

Karkat settled down and strolled over to Jade, he walked past Rose and John. Scoffing at the two of them and their lovey dovey antics. The last thing he desired to see in the morning was the red romance of two humans he loathed, especially John.

“WELL, WHERE IS MY BREAKFAST?”

“I thought we could share.” She stepped up to Karkat and held a single plate between the two of them. He flushed a bright red and looked away hastily.

“UHHHH….OKAY. DON’T GO MAKING THIS AWKWARD, I MEAN, THOSE TWO ARE RIGHT FUCKING THERE.” He would’ve preferred privacy, but Jade was so open about her feelings, even in front of others. He knew he couldn’t deny her what she enjoyed doing, so he put up with it for her sake.

She began to eat breakfast with Karkat and had blushed red, as Karkat did the same. As they shared their food Rose and John walked away, it was a bit of a messy display as Jade leaned in for a kiss with Karkat.

“UHH JADE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”

“I’m going to give my sweet, sweet knight a kiss!”

“BUT THOSE GRUBSHITS ARE WATCHING.”

She pulled him close and planted her lips tightly onto his, “Let them watch.”

She wrapped her tongue around Karkat’s. The feeling of his warm lips coming into contact with her own made her face flush a bright red. Karkat’s face flushed just as red. He turns to look at John and Rose, they giggle at his embarrassment.

“YOU LITTLE HOOFBEASTSHIT, LAUGH AT ME LIKE THAT TO MY FACE.” He breaks the kiss during and had Jade slump onto the floor. She sits up and watches as Karkat yells at John angrily.

Rose scoots over to Jade and whispered in her ear, “You ought to stop this.”

“I know, but you know how Karkat feels about John,” Jade whispered back, “He loves him in a kismesis way.”

“That’s not what I meant Jade.”

“Huh?”

Jade shifted her focus back to Karkat and John, whom had stopped arguing. Karkat scoffed at John again and sat down with his arms crossed. Jade sighed and tried to think of a way to chill them all out. After the events of the sleepover the night before, Jade had bruised her fingers. They did a lot of knitting because of Rose. John made them watch Con Air, Karkat said he would never forgive John for making him watch such a horrendous movie.

Jade tried to resolve the conflict in a way that could relieve Karkat of his pent up anger and get John and Rose to exercise them. She spoke up and suggested they play a hearty game of Laser tag. They all agreed to it, as it sounded quite fun.

Donning the proper gear and setting teams of Boys versus Girls. Rose and Jade hid behind the couch as John and Karkat rushed in. John childishly shouted, “Pew pew pew!” As he fired his laser gun at no actual targets.

Karkat bumps him in the gut with his shoulder, “SHUT UP, YOU’LL GIVE US AWAY!”

Rose popped up over the couch and blasted Karkat with the laser gun, “Pew pew!” She jokingly voiced out.

Karkat grumbled and tossed the laser gun onto the floor. He kicked it and walked to the wall and sat down. He was out, he shouted aloud, “DON’T LOSE THIS FOR ME EGBERT!”

John nodded as he looked at Karkat, but taking his eye off the game had left him open and vulnerable. The perfect target for a skilled marksman like Jade. She silently snuck in as close as she could and pinned him to the ground held the laser gun to him, she giggled.

“I got you john!”

“Jade…stop it!”

“huh?”

“Stop it!”

“Sorry….I didn’t mean to be too rough,” She got off of John and fired at his chest, “Pew pew…” she was feeling a little bad about it, even though she felt like she hadn’t done anything wrong.

The whole day was beginning to seem like she had been ruining a perfectly good day after a joyous sleep over. She felt like she was ruining everyone else’s good time. She sighed and sat down on the couch. She sat still and watched Rose, John, and Karkat converse and argue over trivial things. She wondered when exactly Rose and John would be going home.

Then Karkat stepped up to her and put a hand on her shoulder. She felt a bit of her bad mood drift away, he pulled her in close for a hug and wrapped his arms around her, not letting her go.

“Karkat…Today has been…I’ve been a real goof today.”

“THAT’S NOT A PROBLEM JADE. YOU ARE ALWAYS LIKE THAT.”

“Is that a good thing?”

“JADE, I LIKE YOU THE WAY YOU ARE. DON’T GO BEING DOPEY AND SAD BECAUSE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU UPSET ONE OF THOSE TWO GRUBSHITS.” he sighed and gritted his teeth, “THEY SHOULDN’T MATTER TO YOU ANYWAY.”

“Ah! That’s very rude Karkat, take it back!”

“WHY THE HELL SHOULD I?”

“Because it was mean and uncalled for!”

“LIKE HELL IT WAS JADE, FUCKING LOOK AT THEM AND STOP THIS.”

Jade shakes her head and closes her eyes tightly, she doesn’t want to see it. She covers her ears with her hands. “Shut up Karkat, just shut up!”

“I WON’T SHUT UP UNTIL YOU SHUT UP.”

“Shut up Karkat! Stop being so mean!”

Karkat grabbed her by her collar, “SHUT UP AND STOP BEING THE NOOKSNIFFING IDIOT YOU ALWAYS ARE JADE AND REALIZE WHAT YOU ARE DOING!”

“No!” She pushed Karkat off of herself and ran up the stairs, she bumped into Rose and John. She only glanced at them for a moment before the two of them fell to the ground. Cold and lifeless, their sutures were coming undone. “..Oh noooo.” She would have to come back and fix them later, after she had calmed herself down. Jade had held back tears, she was tempted to cry. Karkat was scaring her and she couldn’t understand what he was talking about. She knew that, Karkat knew that, even Rose and John noticed her behavior was over the top.

Karkat knocked on her door later that night and asked as calmly as he could, “ARE YOU OKAY? I MEAN, I DIDN’T WANT TO UPSET YOU. YOU’RE JUST WORRYING ME.”

She wiped away her tears and tried to keep her voice from cracking, “What is worrying you so m-much?”

Karkat’s voice cracked as well, she was never any good at impersonations, “B-BECAUSE YOU ARE TALKING TO YOURSELF. I AM NOT REAL, NONE OF THIS.” She had begun to cry to herself, the tears warmed her cheeks with the sweet embrace of depression, “YOU ARE FUCKING T-TALKING T-TO A DOLL YOU MA-MADE OF ME JADE. YOU NEED H-HELP.”

Jade shook her head. She held herself tightly, she was crying and ruining her dress. She felt just like Jadesprite, weeping and never stopping. Just letting herself cry it all out. She had held back her misery of being stuck alone on this island, with the taxidermies of her friend’s corpses and a broken heart over the loss of Karkat. It had been so long since she heard from him. So very long, she had given up hope of ever seeing him again.

She looked at her fingers, the bruises were still there from sewing together a poorly handcrafted life size Karkat from various scraps she found around her home. She had used some of her old clothing as the fabric for it, pillows for the stuffing. It was so shoddily made it was a wonder it even held together. She forced out another impersonation.

“J-JUST LET ME IN JADE. I WANT TO HELP YOU!”

“If you w-want to help just…come back…one little message..is all I…” Her tears stopped as her lunchtop began to hum a familiar tone. Someone was pestering her, she checked who. Her face, her eyes, it all glistened with glee. A look of disbelief and joy sprouted upon her as a message from the real Karkat had been sent.

  
\- carcinoGenticist [GC] began trolling gardenGnostic [GG] at 4:13 pm –  
CG: JADE ARE YOU THERE?  
GG: hi karkat! :)  
CG: ARE YOU DOING OKAY?  
CG: JOHN JUST BOTHERED US TO CHECK ON ROSE, SO I DECIDED TO CHECK ON YOU AS WELL SINCE I HADN’T HEARD FROM YOU IN SO LONG.  
GG: i am doing alright…i really missed you though! :’)  
CG: I MISSED YOU TOO, BUT I HAVE BEEN INCREDIBLY BUSY.  
GG: its okay!  
CG: NO IT ISN’T.  
CG: I LEFT YOU ALONE, BUT THIS IS NO TIME FOR ME TO BE GETTING SAPPY.  
GG: WE ARE GOING TO SEND ERIDAN TO CHECK ON ROSE, ARE YOU SURE YOU’RE ALRIGHT?  
GG: I’ll be fine Karkat.  
GG: :)  
CG: GOOD BYE THEN.  
\- carcinoGenticist [CG] ceased trolling gardenGnostic [GG] at 4:15 pm –  
GG: I love you.  
GG: please never leave me alone again.  
GG: please.  
GG: I promise not to yell again.  
GG: please  
GG: don’t go.  



	2. Laughter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hee hee  
> hoo hoo  
> hum hum

Dave crawls out of his bed and grabs his shades. He can’t be seen without them, it’s his first order of business each day to don these bad boys. He hops out bed and gets dressed as per usual. He’s not narcissistic but he watches himself pose and flex in the mirror for a short time, he supposes it is ironic, but he’s just not really sure.

He would check pesterchum, but he knows the only person ever on this early is usually John. John gets up so early and it makes no sense, doesn’t he have better things to do than chat with friends? Dave ponders a moment and shakes his head, “Nope..There ain’t nothing more important than friends.” He mutters to himself as he enters the bathroom.

“Never drink a bottle of Apple Juice before bed and expect it to not want out in the morning…” Dave uses the restroom casually; he hums to himself on his new jams he made with some common supplies. He hears a subtle creak at the door.

“Someone’s in here!” he shouts.

“Hee hee….” The voice sounds feminine, that of a young girl.

Dave flushes a light red, “Listen babe, don’t go p-peeping on me. That’s sick.” He was embarrassed, a little mad, but embarrassed. He turns to the door only to find it is already closed. “Guess she’s a shy one….perverted, but shy…” He finishes his business and washes his hands. He leaves the bathroom and heads for the dining room.

Breakfast was set out on the table, Dave takes his seat and begins to chow down on the delicious bacon and eggs. He takes a few quick sips of his Orange Juice and goes back to his meal. After the events of Sburb he found himself alone in his home without his brother. Eventually rent could not be paid, and he was kicked out onto the streets. A little girl took him to the orphanage she lived at and they took him in post-haste. Dave doesn’t exactly enjoy being stuck in this place, but it’s a lot better than living off the street.

After finishing his breakfast he leaves the dishes where they are. Scoots out of his chair and then,

“…you should clean up after yourself…hee hee…” The feminine voice spoke again.

Dave turns to face her, he believes it is the girl who brought him here merely teasing him playfully. She has always been nice to him, and always very shy. Dave shook it off and laughed, he was kind of happy to have her do this. It reminded him of Bro in a way, except rather than fuck his shit up, she usually reminded him to do things he’d otherwise forget.

He goes to the living room and sits down on the couch. The other kids at the orphanage are watching a bland TV show for kids. The screen flashes vibrant colors as the crudely drawn characters run across a field of flowers and teach the children about letters and numbers. Dave is reminded of Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff, he misses drawing the comic to entertain his friends. The computer at the orphanage just wasn’t up to par with the one he had back at his old apartment.

Regardless, he sat down and decided to take a break and just lose himself in some mindless (?) television. The voice acting for the show was terrible to say the least, and the kids around him would not stop laughing. They would count along and Dave would die a little on the inside. He takes a breath in to start talking shit, only the words “Man this show is so fuc-“

“You shouldn’t swear…” It was the girl again, okay, she was beginning to get annoying today, “hee hee…”

Dave gets up and walks in the direction he heard her voice. He peeks around the door slowly, no sign of her. She’s a crafty little girl, shy, but crafty. Dave shouts aloud, “Hey Mr. Sandson! I am going outside!” He waited for an answer but knew he wouldn’t get one. Dave could just run away and that guy wouldn’t notice, but at the same time that man knew Dave, nor any of the kids, would run away. He even left the door unlocked at all times. Dave supposes it may be ironic, or just the owner of the orphanage mocking him and all the other children.

“So….yeah…bye.”

Dave exits the orphanage and walks casually down the street. He pulls out his cell phone from his pocket and holds it into the air, hoping to get some sign of a possible connection. He finds himself walking all the way to the park before he gets any decent bars. He decides to take this chance to go on pesterchum. By now Jade or Rose should be on too. As luck would have it, Jade is on.

 

\- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at 6:12 am –  
TG: sup  
GG: hi dave!! :)  
TG: how are you doing  
GG: pretty good! you?  
TG: just fine  
TG: that girls being weird again  
GG: do you think she likes you?! :o  
TG: fuck i hope not  
TG: i like being single  
GG: :) then let her down gently!  
TG: how  
GG: you’re really asking me for advice with women??   
GG: :?  
TG: oh yeah good point  
TG: ill handle this shit myself  
TG: got an idea  
GG: goodbye and good luck!!!  
TG: later  
\- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at 6:20 am –

 

Dave puts his cell phone away and looks at the busy streets. It was rush hour now. Or rather, twenty minutes into it. He walks casually to the STOP sign and waits for a moment to cross the street. The cars rush by, blinkers flashing, music blaring, so much to take in it amazes Dave he has yet to spaz out from it.

In a faint whisper he hears her again, “…are you gonna do it…?” it giggled it usually laugh, “hee hee…”

“..fucking what…” Dave could turn to look at her, but his mind was set on the road. The cars whipping past him and the cold pavement beneath the hot rubber.

“..you never run away…hee hee….you just always contemplate…” she mocks him, she is mocking Dave.

“Listen babe, don’t try calling me out on this…I do it to be ironic…”

“…that’s your excuse for everything…”

Dave turns around and for the first time in months is face to face with her. Pale skin, eyes blue and as cold as a glacier. Her hair goes down to her shoulders, a blank smile is on her face. She is wearing a very simple dress with the word GAL on it, it makes her look immature and silly. Despite this her cheeks are a rosy red and she wears a lovely necklace. He stares at her blankly, Dave can’t confront her like this, those soulless eyes of hers simply unnerve him to no end.

He steps away from her, he has completely forgotten about the cars passing by. As luck would have it he snaps to as a loud horn honks at him, he turns to look, the headlights blind him as he jumps out of the way. Scraping his knee and breaking his shades. He looks around him, trying to hide his eyes as best he can. The girl is gone again, she always does this to him, but something about her was especially wrong today.

Dave sits in the park for what feels like an eternity until the moon comes up. The blisteringly hot sun has gone down, and with that brought forth the cooling timid Moon. Dave stands up and feels his muscles ache. He rushes back to the orphanage, he hopes he isn’t late for dinner.

Dave stumbles in, falling down again. He is simply far too sore to move easily. He crawls back up and keeps a palm pressed against the wall for support, trying to hide his eyes. Getting back to his room he reaches for his spare shades and slides them on.

“hee hee….”

Dave simply can not stand her anymore. She has been so disturbing today, she nearly had gotten him killed. He turns to face her and on a whim she kisses him on the lips and scurries off like a cockroach in daylight. He stands there dumbfounded for a while. “The hell…is her deal?”

He goes to the dining room, all the other kids are already finished eating. All of them but himself and that girl should be. He only sees one plate out, so she must’ve eaten quickly. He sits down and begins to eat in a chill manner, but she is getting to him. Her damn mind games.

Mr. Sandson walks up to Dave and places Lil Cal on the table. He grumbles, “You musn’t leave your toys out Dave.” He puts a stern look on his face. “I don’t want you playing in the street or leaving this alone on the sidewalk. it could’ve been stolen.” He huffs and walks away, “That being said…I am glad you are unharmed.”

Dave looks at Lil Cal, stares at him. Those eyes.

“hee hee…”

Dave turns around, he looks everywhere for her. She is always just out of view, but always in ear shot. Damn her. Dave takes Lil Cal and heads off to his room for bed. He has dealt with enough shit for the day.

His dream is horrible. He shakes and stirs in his sleep. Laughter, mockery and laughter is all he hears. Her voice is so soft and soothing, but its tone is as sharp and painful as a knife to the throat. He woke up and coughed and wheezed, he took in a deep breath just to make sure he was still alive.

He felt around his bed, he was sure he had left Lil Cal right beside him. He opens his eyes and turns on the lights in his room, Lil Cal is nowhere to be found.

“hee hee…”

Her. She must’ve taken Cal. She is causing too much trouble for Dave to take, he is fed up with this shit. He chases her down, her laughter gets louder and louder as he scampers up to the roof of the orphanage. He climbs the staircase, only getting minor glimpses of her. He finally gets to the rooftop and sees her holding Cal over the edge of the roof.

“Don’t you even dare.” He points a finger and glares at her coldly, he will not have this shit go down. Cal was the last thing he had of Bro’s, and he did not intend to lose it.

“hee hee….” Her grip on Cal loostens.

“Don’t…you fucking dare…” He steps closer to her, he grits his teeth. He is not kidding around.

“……” She stares at Dave and lets go of Cal. “..hee hee….”

Dave doesn’t think, he’d kill her now but he doesn’t think, he leaps for Cal. He jumps off the roof and catches Cal in midair, holding him close. Lil Cal freaked him out, but he was the last thing of his brother he had left. He didn’t notice, he just ignored it till he hit the pavement. He had jumped off a three story building. The pavement felt cold and hard, he couldn’t move a finger. He struggles to breathe, then everything goes warm. His vision goes blurry, he’s pretty sure he either just pissed himself or is slowly bleeding to death. He worries it may even be both. Looking up he blacks out, the last thing he hears is the same voice, making that same laugh.

“hee hee….”

He is asleep, he believes he is, me thinks he might even be dead. He can’t tell. How is one supposed to know this isn’t what death is like? He wants to wake up, open his eyes. He tries to do so, and it is a rousing success.

He looks around slowly, his vision still slightly blurry. Monitors and machines, people in white. He wasn’t dead, it seems he is in a hospital room. He strains himself to sit up. He sees his cell phone on the desk he reaches for it, almost. Almost. Got it! He bites his lip at the pain, it hurts to move. Slumps down into the hospital bed and checks the time. As soon as he does he gets a message from John. The time reads 4:13 pm. Dave only half heartedly listens to John, he tries his best to sound cool.

“hee hee….”

He doesn’t look, he can’t stand her. Mr. Sandson enters the room and stares at Dave with extreme woe on his face. “Thank god you are alive..Dave..never do that again!” He sits beside Dave and wipes a tear from his eye, “Why on earth would you do that?!”

Dave doesn’t answer.

“I should’ve suspected something when you ran off to the park with your toy…and then in the middle of the night..jumping off the roof..Dave, please…” He mumbles through tears, “..Don’t ever do that again…”

“hee hee……” her voice changes slightly, its growing deeper, “Hee Hee…” That voice, no…it can’t be, “HEE HEE..HOO HOO HEE HEE.”

Dave looks at the ceiling and swears under his breath. “Dammit….god..fucking damn it…” He sighed and went back to sleep, hoping he wouldn’t wake up.


	3. A Birthday to Remember

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cake is delicious.

“Happy Birthday!” his father woke him up with this cheerful statement, John woke up, his hair was a mess and his vision was blurred from not only bad eyesight but also the grogginess of just waking up. He wiped his eyes and sneered, he knew quite well today was not his birthday. He reached for his glasses and dropped them accidentally.

“Dad could you..?” He asked politely.

His father simply nodded and knelt down, grabbing the glasses and handing them to John. He slid the glasses back on and grinned as he could see the smug look on his dad’s face.

John smiled with glee as he slipped his glasses on and peered at the also grinning face of his father, hopping up out of bed, “Let me get dressed and I’ll be right down, okay dad?”

His father nods, both of them were very excited about today. A birthday only happens once a year, and after Sburb, they were closer than ever. John walked over to his closet and undressed casually, he put on his green ghost shirt and a pair of blue jeans, ignoring socks. He checks pesterchum quickly to see who all might be online, looks like it is too early in the day, he and his father do have a fun filled day planned ahead of them! He frolics down the stairs and spies a large, wrapped present in the center of the living room. The wrapping paper is colorful, the bow bright. It is a beautiful present.

His father sat on the sofa comfortably, smoking a pipe and tipping his hat to John as if to make the notion, ‘Why yes, you may open it like a silly school girl’. John, nodding at this tipping, begins to tear the wrapping paper off and saw the bare cardboard box. Pulling out a trusty simple household hammer, no need to go batshit insane here, he broke the box open and finally saw his gift. It was a harlequin doll similar to the one he received at the beginning of Sburb.

“Dad, this is…uhm..” John was not sure how to put it.

“Yes?”

“It’s a really neat gift! It brings back a lot of memories, the good ones, with nanasprite…” He smiles and wipes a small tear out of his eye, “Thanks so much…” He hugs his father yet again.

“Oh don’t be like that, you’re my son. You are strong now, you don’t need to act so childish.” He has a smug smile upon his face, “Now how about some cake?”

Normally John detests cake, in fact, he still hates cake. Although this day is a special case, a special occasion. So it is a day like this that he goes by a new code, the rule of cake-hatery must be broken if not only for the gratification and happiness of his father, who admittedly, was a good cook. So he sat down at the table and sat patiently to blow out the candles.

Reeling his head back he takes a deep breath, the candle reads 14. His father smiles, “Make a wish son.”

John blows out the candles with a single strong breath, he wishes quietly that this day could last forever. John enjoyed his birthdays more than any other, except perhaps the birthday when Sburb all started, that day was truly hectic.

Cutting the slice of cake, his father hands him it on a plate. Promptly and impolitely asking, “What did you wish for?”

John laughs and shakes his head, “You know the rules, if I tell you it won’t happen!”

They share a quick laugh with one another. Heading into the living room they sit down next to each other and turn on one of John’s favorite bad movies, Ghost Dad. Laughs are had and shared through the day, various games are played and pranks are pulled on one another. As the sun begins to set, John yawns, “This has been great..really..its been one of the best days eve-“ John finds himself interrupted by the phone ringing rather loudly.

“I’ll be going to bed dad, see you tomorrow.” John rushes upstairs and hops onto pesterchum, after a day of not speaking to his friends, he wonders what all is up with them. Curiously he finds none of them to be online. “Dang…” He shrugs and slinks off to bed.

His father remains on the phone, receiving some rather complex news. Though it is none of John’s business, its probably a personal call anyway.

John drifted off to sleep and had a good night’s rest. That night he had a rather simple dream, nothing out of the ordinary. He simply gained a good night’s sleep. However the next morning he found himself waking up to a familiar face, “Happy Birthday!” His father proclaimed happily. John had a blank stare on his face, “Huh?” John wasn’t sure how to react, he grabbed his glasses, and as before they fell.

“Dad…Could you..?” It wasn’t, could it be?

His father picks up his glasses and hands them to him. John slides them on, he is a little weirded out, did he just have a dream of his Birthday, perhaps Déjà vu is simply behind this. John told his father he would be downstairs in a moment to open his presents and have the cake as is a traditional birthday celebration.

He goes on pesterchum to see if his friends are online, as it is, only Rose is online. Right as John prepares to message her she sends some text herself. The conversation lifts John’s mood, its truly nice to see Rose being so silly and optimistic again. John goes and gets dressed, just like before, and he spots it in the corner of his eye.

The harlequin his father had bought him from before.

John shook his head, there was a reason that Dad would claim it to be John’s birthday twice in a row. There must have been some jokester prank behind all this, not too sure what though.

When John arrived into the living room he saw a large present yet again, as he had the day before. Just like yesterday he unwrapped it, and broke it open. Sure enough, there was the same harlequin doll. Followed by going to the kitchen, where his father presents him a fresh cake. The candles read Fourteen, just as before.

John takes in a deep breath and blows out the candles, he isn’t sure what to wish for, it seems like his wish the other day came true. Admittedly today was enjoyable for him, he could not help but feel rather strange at the occurrence.

“What did you wish for?” His father asks once more.

John thinks for a moment, “I couldn’t think of anything to wish for actually.” He chuckles a bit, “Seems like I have everything I need really.”

His father smiles at him, then John snaps for a moment, “Waaaait…is this why you did this? Did you repeat my birthday just so you could find out my wish?”

“Repeat your birthday?”

“Its clever Dad, but no dice! I’m going to go relax and go to sleep, okay?”

His father nods, a little confused by what he meant, ‘repeat his birthday’ was a phrase that makes little sense no matter what side you are on. Regardless, he shrugged and sat down in the living room, proceeding to watch the movie Ghost Dad.

John, back in his room, unsure of exactly what today was, tosses the doll at the other. The Harlequins clash and fall down. He hops on pesterchum and notices how Dave is on, he messages him hoping Dave might have an idea of whether or not this is a prank.

 

\- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 4:13 pm –  
EB: hey dave.  
TG: sup  
EB: I think my dad is pulling a prank on me.  
EB: like, a big one too.  
TG: aight what is it  
EB: he pretended today was my birthday when it was yesterday  
TG: oh yeah did you get my present  
EB: not yet  
TG: mustve mailed too late  
TG: fuck  
EB: what is it?  
TG: be patient thats what  
EB: alright, but what should I do about this prank?  
TG: are you really outpranked by this  
TG: just play the fuck along dumpass  
TG: you can beat him  
EB: I am the prankmaster general!  
TG: the what  
EB: sorry, trying new titles.  
TG: just stick to the classics  
EB: okay, thanks dave.  
TG: see ya  
EB: bye!  
\- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 4:20 pm –

 

John went to bed that night with the intent of combating his father’s bizarre prank the best way possible, by playing along and outlasting him! That night he had a strange dream, mainly of pies whapping him senselessly in the face. it was a reoccurring dream John had every so often.

“Happy Birthday!” His father woke him up once again as the day before, and for the following days John proceeded to play along. Opening the gifts, eating the cake, and watching the movies with his father. It was a battle he did not feel he should lose, but at the same time he was losing track of days, and was worried perhaps things had gone too far. On the sixth night of his birthday he decided he had had enough. He would end it tomorrow. He would tell his father what he had wished for and how it was about time they got back to real life.

“Happy Birth-“ John slaps his father across the face before he can finish the sentence and proceeds to spray shaving cream on him to make sure his father shuts the hell up.

“Sorry Dad, but this prank has gone on way too long!” John shouts.

“Prank?” His father asks, a little surprised by the sudden outburst.

“Yes Dad, I know the prank!” He begins to plead, “Just stop it, I give up! I will tell you what I wished for!”

“Prank…? You haven’t blown out the candles yet…you couldn’t have made a wish…” His father seems genuinely confused.

“Dad…” John’s eyes grow small, his face grows grim. “What day is it?”

“April…April 13th…your birthday.”

John drops the shaving cream and grabs his father by the collar, dragging him to John’s closet, which conceals within it a large pile of harlequin dolls, each one is identical in every way, right down to color and size. His father merely stares, astonished.

“Dad…it’s April 20th…Its been a week…”

His father looks at the ground, he can’t speak.

“Dad…what happened?”

“Son..I…..” He begins to weep, the tears flow, he remembers now.

On the first birthday, John’s real birthday, Mr. Egbert received a phone call. This phone call was personal, it informed him of very sad news. The death of Ms. Lalonde upon the operating table. At the time, Dad could not think of how to respond, they had survived through Sburb and back, yet this is what does her in? He hung up the phone and shook his head, “No….” This wasn’t real, it couldn’t have been, but now he could not deny it.

She had died, and he had to move on. John hugs him tightly, “its okay dad….I….this is my fault…..” John begins to cry as well, he bites his lower lip, “I wished that day would last forever….and I got just that…” He sobs, “I’m…so sorry…”


	4. Fantasy Come True

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bluh bluh  
> huge witch

Rose Lalonde woke up that morning the same as she normally would. Get out of bed, brush her teeth, take a shower, get dressed, and go to breakfast. By this time breakfast would’ve been prepared by her mother and it’d be sitting on the counter. It would be a delicious meal, eggs and steak, orange juice on the side. Elegantly put on fine china, an entire array of different dining forks would be set in a neat and tidy fashion. It had become a routine burned into Rose’s brain. So like any other morning she arose, performed the list mentioned prior, and as usual, attempts to one-up her mother in courtesy. However today she did not find a meal. She did not even see a plate set out for her, nor a note to inform her of any difference within the days schedule.

Indeed today was going to be different, she turned to get out of the seat when she finally came to the realization. The wizards within her home had come alive! The Wizards were conversing of both mystical creatures and their past experiences, as well as their origins and wizardry schooldays. Rose indulged in this, sitting on the stool she watched and listened.

“This is amazing…” She thought to herself, it was unbelievable, simply unfounded! “…could it be real?” Rose had gone through Sburb, all of which was very insane and hard to believe, so this was actually fairly likely. “It must be! I…I…I am so thrilled.”

Rose rushed off to her room, bumping into the wizards, she apologized with a less than sincere ‘sorry’ each time. Entering her room she noticed quickly her laptop was gone, rummaging through her Sylladex she could not find it either. Retracing her steps she sat down at her desk, where it had been before she now only saw piles of envelopes.

“These are…where did these come from?” She pressed a finger to one of the envelopes, it levitated into the air slowly and began to reshape itself into a pair of lips with ruffled paper teeth. It did not say anything at first, it merely floated in mid-air.

“H-hello?”

The envelope’s lips begin to move. “hey rose!” The voice sounded a lot like John. Inspecting this envelope further she discovered an insignia on it that read ‘ectoBiologist’. This was indeed John Egbert, or at least, how she could contact him.   
Wizardry certainly is odd when applied to computer programming!

 

\- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 10:25 am –  
TT: Hello?  
EB: hey rose!  
TT: John the most amazing thing is happening!  
TT: Even now its just, so, words can not describe it!  
EB: what has you so excited rose?  
TT: The wizards within my home have come alive!  
TT: My laptop is gone, I am communicating to you via this enchanted envelope with your chumhandle on it!  
EB: slow down rose.  
EB: you’re being serious?  
TT: I would not joke about this John!  
TT: Excuse me, I want to savor this. It might only last today.  
EB: okay.  
EB: bye!  
TT: See you later!  
\- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 10:28 am –

 

Rose proceeded to descend her stairs and look at the Wizards fondly. Some of them were suggesting a friendly duel among one another. This was something she could not afford to miss, how often did a magic duel occur in one’s own home, let alone at all? Her eyes glistened with bewilderment as the two magic men clashed in an epic battle, spells pressed against one another. Sparks flew off as though they were fireworks, the energy and raw power coming forth brightened the entire building to a near blinding light.

This did not bother Rose, she simply watched in amazement. It was a spectacle, a marvel. Rose could not comprehend exactly how this had all happened, but she didn’t care. It was a miracle. She watched for what seemed like only minutes of her time, but were in fact hours. The wizards gathered around for a meal at her counter, she raided the fridge for a drink and a light snack. The magic men had taken up all the seats so she sat on the couch with two other wizards and an eldritch princess.

“So…if you don’t mind me asking…” Rose bit her lower lip, “How did you guys come to life?”

The wizards looked at her, befuddled, did she really not know? “My dear, you brought us to life.”

“I did?” Now she was at a loss for words.

“Indeed!” A wizard with a ridiculously pointy hat proclaimed, “You remember your secret wish? The shooting star a few moons ago?”

Rose pondered a moment, “shooting….star..?” It was then a flashback hit her, of course, it had only been a few days ago. She smiled , warmth began to fill her. This was a truly indescribable feeling. Not only had a miracle occurred, but she was the reason for it. A dream come true!

For the following days Rose indulged in this wonderland. She learned new spells, made new friends out of the many mages, she even began to become fond of a certain male wizard who had caught her eye. She began to speak with John, Dave, and Jade less and less. They were a little worried, but it was Rose, surely she would not be one to forget the basic necessities and needs of a living individual.

Rose woke up the next day and dragged herself out of bed, putting on new clothes and heading downstairs to see the wizards again. Instead she saw corpses, heaping, rotting, fleshy, corpses. Someone had murdered her magic friends. She rushed over to them and fell to her knees, holding close the young wizard who had won her heart.

“wwhat the fuck is wwrong wwith you?” Asked an unfamiliar voice, in a familiar tone.

Rose tried to cease her crying a moment to glimpse at the face of the murderer, looking up, she saw it. The jagged horns, the scarf, the dark cape, popped collar. This was an incredibly big douchebag. It was Eridan. “Did you do this?” She asked, her mood began to simmer with anger.

“yes I broke your shitty little statues.”

“Statues?”

“I wwas informed of this dumbfuckery by kar after the kids started wworryin about you. I decided to check on you for myself.”

“I was fine until you showed up.” She growled at him.

“Look at yourself!” Eridan shouted.

Rose looked at herself, she didn’t notice anything wrong, granted her clothing was not the cleanest due to the fresh blood on it because of holding close a dead love. “I…I am fine!”

“I thought so too, till I read this.” Eridan began to read aloud a letter that had been sent to Rose a matter of days ago.

“Dear Rose lalonde,  
We regret, and woefully, inform you that your mother passed away on the operating table.  
She was unconscious at the time, so the death was quick and painless.”

Eridan stopped reading there, the rest of the letter was of little importance. The façade that had surrounded Rose for the past days crumbled. The statues among the house had all been smashed, the fridge was empty of any food because it had all been placed on plates for the wizards, the food on the plates had begun to rot, covered in flies. Rose looked back at herself, she had lost weight, her healthy body had become a thinner frame.

“Why….” Rose began to cry, she had held such a strong grip on a lie she would’ve been content on dying with, “Why did you do this…”

Eridan neared her face, he smiled a sinister grin, “Because Rose…” He placed a light grip on her chin before forcing a kiss upon her, wrapping his tongue around hers. “you’re a fuckin idiot wwho needs to get back to real life.” He pulled away and spit. “You are miserable and lonely, just like me.”

Rose was devastated, what was she supposed to do. How was she supposed to respond to this flurry of emotions. Standing up, she realized how frail she had become, slumping down and relying on Eridan to stand. She held him close and continued to weep. Eridan lifted her up and set her down.

The road to recuperation would not be easy for Rose Lalonde, but she had a man by her side who was dedicated and with no better way to spend his time than for someone he loves.


End file.
